THIS! Do I ever feel the same (and I've been writing here just over a year). I too write to grasp and understand and connect. The beauty of Substack I am holding onto (despite the cool kids effect and social media transformation) is that it makes both writing and reading less solitary. We get to know (some) of the weight of our words landing in others' laps (hearts, minds) and also get to reflect that back to others in comments. That is a special, special thing.
I really freaked out when Substack started adding all these new features that I don't recall ever asking for and started moving toward more of a "traditional" form of social media. So far, to my relief, it hasn't really blown up. It still feels like something whose owners are polishing up to cash out on and that is what concerns me most, but until that day, here we are. ✊🏽
After reading this I actually said out loud: "Dammit Chris, you're right." Of course I've never been good at thinking ahead but you're spot on about cashing out. You're also right that we're here, and we get to create whatever we want, which is quite special even if it's temporary. I'm glad you're here and writing and I'm glad I found your work.
Yes, a lot of us in the Fediverse are more aware of how VC-funded platforms behave, and well, I can't help but think you're right. Look up "enshittification". It's a good explanation for what's happening.
Nov 25, 2023·edited Nov 25, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)
For what it’s worth, I, having long had a complicated relationship with social media, stopped 7 months ago due to another bout of awareness of its mental harm to me, but also to protect myself from real external harms through which it was a conduit. I’ve only just started in on substack, telling myself it is not social media. But it is (to me). And it is only not social media by way of me not letting it be so (to me). I almost immediately felt it as “Instagram for words” and it feels like that in all aspects. Except, like “Instagram (just) for photos”, that can also be a good thing (for me, for now). I write here to no audience at all, with no algorithm at risk of sending my guff beyond its empty room, no risk of attention and the obligations, anxieties of response. And if I maintain this, this quiet room and this non-conversational slow reading, slow writing, without letting it become a deadscroll and an emptying of my every passing opinion into the mill of validation; if I don’t let it become ticks and follows and subscribers (to me) perhaps I can feel safe here, asocial (or selectively social), among words and writers and readers, not viruses and “friends” and fluencers. Even responding here feels dangerous to me, like I’m courting the vortex, skating the edge of the abyss. But not (“I will not, despair, not feast on thee”) letting it become all that... that is my state, my feeling, what substack is (to me). Fortunately, my writing tends to assist by not attracting attention [insert five jocular emojis].
As someone still on Instagram, Substack is chill as hell by comparison. All of my encounters here so far (2 months) have been thoughtful and edifying, despite being between total strangers! That’s a miracle in itself. The veer into social media territory is slightly alarming, but a lot of people are talking about it, and if enough people complain, it might make a difference. So, good on you 👏 👏👏
I think not being on socials elsewhere has given me a heightened sensitivity. There is still so, so much good on this platform, and I am sure there will continue to be lots of good. It is def better than Insta or FB or any other place with millions of ads!!
I could NEVER do Instagram. Does my head in. Which is well when Substack started adopting the same measures... a little sad, but I have to consciously avoid them to stay sane on Substack now.
3000 you say? What can I say? I’m happy with the 6 I’ve got... in total. Started my substack in August without a reader base. Still don’t know how this works. I’m trying my best and staying true to myself, I write and publish what I write, not adjusting to clicks ir algorythms. I guess that’s a losers strategy here.🤷♀️
You're doing great!! I think I started out with about 20 people and it took two and a half years for me to reach 1000 subscribers. I know it can feel discouraging. Don't let it.
Liberated from the crazy rat race of the orange check mark! Thank-you for this very honest and needed post. I feel you. Are there any platforms that favour a chill yet steady handed contributor or do all algorithmic roads lead to a toxic hustle culture? Idk...🤷♀️🥹🫶🏼
Thanks Celeste. This sounds very interesting! I do need a place to keep thoughts, quotes, images etc. Notepad is good buuuut so limited and I have notes flowing everywhere. Sounds like this might be a solution?
Yes I think are.na is good for research purpose. There is a limit of blocks for free user and unlimited blocks for those who pays monthly. I haven’t upgraded to get the unlimited blocks yet.
If you need things to stay organized, I like to use Notion for that. It is free no matter what.
I find the pressure of substack selling to be extremely toxic and i turned off the badge as soon as it was offered but it still haunts me. i get it! your work is valuable regardless of the rat race.
Thank you so much Arabelle! I so appreciate that. And the badge thing really baffles me. Why would they want to make it so much like Twitter and Instagram?! Sigh.
Love this Anastasia. You already know my position and cognitive dissonance re: my resistance to social media and the Substack overlap!
Your writing definitely makes me feel “less alone”....which is why I subscribed to your newsletter (when it was still $5 per month). This is the price of a coupla coffees here in Australia. It’s a small price to pay to support/witness you sharing your truth and vulnerability in the name of building connection and healing. We know money is almost never a writer’s motivation/incentive to write. But while we all live under the reign of a capitalist system, we need money to pay the bills/survive. It is what it is.
Hope all your various projects are ticking along nicely ☺️.
Cheers, Claire
ps. I don’t even know how to send/receive emails on SS so not sure if you ever have me your postal addy to send you an old-fashioned paper letter?! I’m totally determined to bring letter-writing back into my life! 💪🏽...In the same way I’ll always prefer reading an actual tactile book to anything on a screen....
Thank you Claire!!! I am so glad you're here. And I believe that you can reply to any newsletter I send via email. If you find that you can't, let me know, and I will email you my address <3
Not trying to be a jerk but why the consternation about feeling alone? We are alone and as such I feel it is to be embraced. I write to communicate ideas that pass through my consciousness. In doing so, I sometimes am gifted with similar thoughts and interpretations. Thanks for taking the time to communicate and I hope you achieve interesting results
Yes yes yes yes! This has been top of mind for me as of late too - I feel on the same wavelength with you here. I wrote a paragraph/ section thingy about this in my last social media series post that will come out soon. I like that substack can still be used without being social media if you don’t have the app, but the choice to use it as such is definitely now there when it wasn’t prior to 6 months ago ish (?) when the social media features came to be; notes, restack, etc, which makes it all interesting to navigate. I’ve been in a super bad chronic illness flare all week and I haven’t had the capacity to answer much or do much - but just had to say: thanks for saying the feelz 😊 btw I found your substack this time last year, I was just thinking about that, and so glad I did!
Aw Emily I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm so glad to have you here and I definitely know that you get it!! Not having the app I think helps a lot, but still. One can go into a spiral anytime, especially when we compare ourselves to others.
Thanks for writing this! I really feel the stress and anxiety of the constant comparison, as well.
Substack is -- and always has been -- social media, by definition, simply because it is a media format that is designed for the express purpose of encouraging interaction with other humans. It was created and is owned by people who intend to make money off of it, so it is unlikely that we will not continue to see changes made to it that are intended, first and foremost, to increase profit for its owners. I really get what you're saying about the increase in Twitter/Insta/FB-like commotion that seems to be ramping up rapidly here. It feels almost inevitable to me that Substack will eventually become virtually indistinguishable from other social platforms, though I hope I'm wrong.
That being said, the reason I make this point is to suggest that it is obviously possible for a social media platform to exist that does not *feel* like social media, in that it doesn't encourage the same kinds of disfunctional, soul-sucking, engagement that leads so many of us to abandon it in self-defense.
I think one thing that is different here is that we've all been around the social media block a few times, so we can see it coming; it's not catching us off-guard, so maybe if we support each other in the effort we can disrupt that seemingly inevitable slide down the social media slippery slope.
I don't have any great ideas about how to do this, but if we all follow your example and speak clearly and honestly about our anxiety in this environment, and the lures we are trying to resist, and the traps we are wary of, maybe we can have some impact on how the culture of this platform evolves over time. Or maybe we can nurture a subculture here that will feel like the kind of environment and community we need to buffer us from the capitalistic, relentlessly competitive side of things. At least I hope so!
I think you're definitely onto something here. There are quite a few people on the platform who have consciously left social media, so I think that many of us are vigilant about toxic rhetoric and tools surrounding and infiltrating substack. Ultimately I battle with my OWN self-esteem issues. When I look around, I see a lot of folks really supporting each other. This comment thread is a good example. <3
I hear you on the self-esteem issues. I hope we all find our way someday to knowing in our brains, guts, and hearts that we are just as worthy as everyone else. 💔💚
I am new to this platform. I decided it may just be the place for me as I start to become vulnerable little by little with my writing. A safe place to “publish”. You are so right. It occurred to me just a couple of days ago how much of a social media it is seeming. I guess I am adding to that with this comment!? But I will not be deterred. Not interested in accolades, just a place to rest my thoughts and find community. Make connection. Write.
Ditto! I'm here for the connection and to put a little bit of "me" out into the world, with the hopes that it will help someone. I hope that Substack doesn't become too noisey and we are able to find like-minded communities. (I'm planning on keeping my publication free for a while, so I don't think I'll be getting a tick anytime soon hehehe)
I automatically felt inadequate when I first heard about the check mark, and then became anxious about how to go about getting one as quickly I could. But why? Thanks for planting my feet back on the ground for me.
Aw Page, a totally relatable feeling. They don't mean anything, really, and I think many of the folks who have check marks are also aware of that. Don't let it make you feel bad!!! It is a made up symbol built by capitalism.
Truth! I’m used to social media trying to manipulate my feelings of inadequacy at this point, and use it as an opportunity to remind myself that THAT SHIT DON’T MATTER!
Yea Anastasia, Notes is certainly a turn in the social media direction for Substack. As social media goes, Notes is pretty darn good.
But, imho, writers don't belong on short form social media at all, but in long form environments like forums. But, having said that now about 100 times, I've have to acknowledge that the people have spoken, and short form is what they want. Many of the younger members here in particular may have never experienced anything other than short form social media, so to them THIS is the Internet.
Substack increasingly has that bad writer conference vibe, where there's all the lame people who want to have agents and editors and there's all the cool kids who do have agents and editors. Or the "successful" writers and the "aspiring" writers. Whatever the groups are, it quickly gets very junior high cafeteria-like, which was exactly the dynamic I hated on Twitter. Maybe if you're in the cool kid group, it does feel different and it's all so much fun all the time.
But in this case, all the cool kids act as if they're cool because they're so much smarter and work so much harder than you. At least in junior high, we all understood the unfairness of who got to be the cool kids and that it had nothing to do with how hard they worked or how smart they were. We understood that the poor kid who couldn't buy the right shoes was never going to be cool. Or the kid with bad acne. Or the girl who was diabetic and had to check her insulin all the time. Or the boy with the "weird" last name and the accent. At least we understood that there was nothing particularly fair about who got to be cool and who didn't.
Wait, am I saying junior high was better? That's really sad.
That is SO sad!!! Like i said in another comment, I'm going to brainstorm possibly creating a sub-newsletter where smaller pubs can get together and tall openly about anxieties but also think of things in more creative terms not involving subscriber counts or metrics. I think reframing really, really helps! And finding joy in the craft of writing and newslettering.
THIS! Do I ever feel the same (and I've been writing here just over a year). I too write to grasp and understand and connect. The beauty of Substack I am holding onto (despite the cool kids effect and social media transformation) is that it makes both writing and reading less solitary. We get to know (some) of the weight of our words landing in others' laps (hearts, minds) and also get to reflect that back to others in comments. That is a special, special thing.
100% agree with you here. There is way more good on Substack than bad. I hope it stays that way!
I really freaked out when Substack started adding all these new features that I don't recall ever asking for and started moving toward more of a "traditional" form of social media. So far, to my relief, it hasn't really blown up. It still feels like something whose owners are polishing up to cash out on and that is what concerns me most, but until that day, here we are. ✊🏽
After reading this I actually said out loud: "Dammit Chris, you're right." Of course I've never been good at thinking ahead but you're spot on about cashing out. You're also right that we're here, and we get to create whatever we want, which is quite special even if it's temporary. I'm glad you're here and writing and I'm glad I found your work.
Likewise!
Yes, a lot of us in the Fediverse are more aware of how VC-funded platforms behave, and well, I can't help but think you're right. Look up "enshittification". It's a good explanation for what's happening.
Thank you for this tip! I really appreciate seeing the process (one that I’ve watched and sensed) explained.
For what it’s worth, I, having long had a complicated relationship with social media, stopped 7 months ago due to another bout of awareness of its mental harm to me, but also to protect myself from real external harms through which it was a conduit. I’ve only just started in on substack, telling myself it is not social media. But it is (to me). And it is only not social media by way of me not letting it be so (to me). I almost immediately felt it as “Instagram for words” and it feels like that in all aspects. Except, like “Instagram (just) for photos”, that can also be a good thing (for me, for now). I write here to no audience at all, with no algorithm at risk of sending my guff beyond its empty room, no risk of attention and the obligations, anxieties of response. And if I maintain this, this quiet room and this non-conversational slow reading, slow writing, without letting it become a deadscroll and an emptying of my every passing opinion into the mill of validation; if I don’t let it become ticks and follows and subscribers (to me) perhaps I can feel safe here, asocial (or selectively social), among words and writers and readers, not viruses and “friends” and fluencers. Even responding here feels dangerous to me, like I’m courting the vortex, skating the edge of the abyss. But not (“I will not, despair, not feast on thee”) letting it become all that... that is my state, my feeling, what substack is (to me). Fortunately, my writing tends to assist by not attracting attention [insert five jocular emojis].
Whenever Substack is like NEW THING! I get a sinking feeling like can you just stop? I don't need new thing. You've got me all wrong Substack
Please only old things!!!
As someone still on Instagram, Substack is chill as hell by comparison. All of my encounters here so far (2 months) have been thoughtful and edifying, despite being between total strangers! That’s a miracle in itself. The veer into social media territory is slightly alarming, but a lot of people are talking about it, and if enough people complain, it might make a difference. So, good on you 👏 👏👏
I think not being on socials elsewhere has given me a heightened sensitivity. There is still so, so much good on this platform, and I am sure there will continue to be lots of good. It is def better than Insta or FB or any other place with millions of ads!!
I could NEVER do Instagram. Does my head in. Which is well when Substack started adopting the same measures... a little sad, but I have to consciously avoid them to stay sane on Substack now.
3000 you say? What can I say? I’m happy with the 6 I’ve got... in total. Started my substack in August without a reader base. Still don’t know how this works. I’m trying my best and staying true to myself, I write and publish what I write, not adjusting to clicks ir algorythms. I guess that’s a losers strategy here.🤷♀️
You're doing great!! I think I started out with about 20 people and it took two and a half years for me to reach 1000 subscribers. I know it can feel discouraging. Don't let it.
Also- I never really worked with the algos either. There are lots of good people here, lots of discerning and smart readers. You will find yours!
Liberated from the crazy rat race of the orange check mark! Thank-you for this very honest and needed post. I feel you. Are there any platforms that favour a chill yet steady handed contributor or do all algorithmic roads lead to a toxic hustle culture? Idk...🤷♀️🥹🫶🏼
If there are, I wanna find em...
I’m keeping my eyes peeled 👀
There is one platform that I know, it is called Are.na
You can gather your research and thoughts in one channel (think of it as a folder).
I have stumbled upon quite a few interesting people and topics there.
Give it a try. You may feel that it is one refreshing platform.
Oooh thank you Celeste, this sounds super intriguing!
Thanks Celeste. This sounds very interesting! I do need a place to keep thoughts, quotes, images etc. Notepad is good buuuut so limited and I have notes flowing everywhere. Sounds like this might be a solution?
Yes I think are.na is good for research purpose. There is a limit of blocks for free user and unlimited blocks for those who pays monthly. I haven’t upgraded to get the unlimited blocks yet.
If you need things to stay organized, I like to use Notion for that. It is free no matter what.
I find the pressure of substack selling to be extremely toxic and i turned off the badge as soon as it was offered but it still haunts me. i get it! your work is valuable regardless of the rat race.
Thank you so much Arabelle! I so appreciate that. And the badge thing really baffles me. Why would they want to make it so much like Twitter and Instagram?! Sigh.
Love this Anastasia. You already know my position and cognitive dissonance re: my resistance to social media and the Substack overlap!
Your writing definitely makes me feel “less alone”....which is why I subscribed to your newsletter (when it was still $5 per month). This is the price of a coupla coffees here in Australia. It’s a small price to pay to support/witness you sharing your truth and vulnerability in the name of building connection and healing. We know money is almost never a writer’s motivation/incentive to write. But while we all live under the reign of a capitalist system, we need money to pay the bills/survive. It is what it is.
Hope all your various projects are ticking along nicely ☺️.
Cheers, Claire
ps. I don’t even know how to send/receive emails on SS so not sure if you ever have me your postal addy to send you an old-fashioned paper letter?! I’m totally determined to bring letter-writing back into my life! 💪🏽...In the same way I’ll always prefer reading an actual tactile book to anything on a screen....
Thank you Claire!!! I am so glad you're here. And I believe that you can reply to any newsletter I send via email. If you find that you can't, let me know, and I will email you my address <3
Not trying to be a jerk but why the consternation about feeling alone? We are alone and as such I feel it is to be embraced. I write to communicate ideas that pass through my consciousness. In doing so, I sometimes am gifted with similar thoughts and interpretations. Thanks for taking the time to communicate and I hope you achieve interesting results
Yes yes yes yes! This has been top of mind for me as of late too - I feel on the same wavelength with you here. I wrote a paragraph/ section thingy about this in my last social media series post that will come out soon. I like that substack can still be used without being social media if you don’t have the app, but the choice to use it as such is definitely now there when it wasn’t prior to 6 months ago ish (?) when the social media features came to be; notes, restack, etc, which makes it all interesting to navigate. I’ve been in a super bad chronic illness flare all week and I haven’t had the capacity to answer much or do much - but just had to say: thanks for saying the feelz 😊 btw I found your substack this time last year, I was just thinking about that, and so glad I did!
Aw Emily I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm so glad to have you here and I definitely know that you get it!! Not having the app I think helps a lot, but still. One can go into a spiral anytime, especially when we compare ourselves to others.
Thanks for writing this! I really feel the stress and anxiety of the constant comparison, as well.
Substack is -- and always has been -- social media, by definition, simply because it is a media format that is designed for the express purpose of encouraging interaction with other humans. It was created and is owned by people who intend to make money off of it, so it is unlikely that we will not continue to see changes made to it that are intended, first and foremost, to increase profit for its owners. I really get what you're saying about the increase in Twitter/Insta/FB-like commotion that seems to be ramping up rapidly here. It feels almost inevitable to me that Substack will eventually become virtually indistinguishable from other social platforms, though I hope I'm wrong.
That being said, the reason I make this point is to suggest that it is obviously possible for a social media platform to exist that does not *feel* like social media, in that it doesn't encourage the same kinds of disfunctional, soul-sucking, engagement that leads so many of us to abandon it in self-defense.
I think one thing that is different here is that we've all been around the social media block a few times, so we can see it coming; it's not catching us off-guard, so maybe if we support each other in the effort we can disrupt that seemingly inevitable slide down the social media slippery slope.
I don't have any great ideas about how to do this, but if we all follow your example and speak clearly and honestly about our anxiety in this environment, and the lures we are trying to resist, and the traps we are wary of, maybe we can have some impact on how the culture of this platform evolves over time. Or maybe we can nurture a subculture here that will feel like the kind of environment and community we need to buffer us from the capitalistic, relentlessly competitive side of things. At least I hope so!
Thank you for starting the conversation!
I think you're definitely onto something here. There are quite a few people on the platform who have consciously left social media, so I think that many of us are vigilant about toxic rhetoric and tools surrounding and infiltrating substack. Ultimately I battle with my OWN self-esteem issues. When I look around, I see a lot of folks really supporting each other. This comment thread is a good example. <3
I hear you on the self-esteem issues. I hope we all find our way someday to knowing in our brains, guts, and hearts that we are just as worthy as everyone else. 💔💚
Write on 😉 (couldn’t help myself; total nerd here)!!
You’re very brave.
Respect.
Subscribed 🤓
You made me lol so no shame!! And thank you so much for subscribing, it means the world to me!
Thank you. I hear you.
I am new to this platform. I decided it may just be the place for me as I start to become vulnerable little by little with my writing. A safe place to “publish”. You are so right. It occurred to me just a couple of days ago how much of a social media it is seeming. I guess I am adding to that with this comment!? But I will not be deterred. Not interested in accolades, just a place to rest my thoughts and find community. Make connection. Write.
All strength to your arm 😊
Ditto! I'm here for the connection and to put a little bit of "me" out into the world, with the hopes that it will help someone. I hope that Substack doesn't become too noisey and we are able to find like-minded communities. (I'm planning on keeping my publication free for a while, so I don't think I'll be getting a tick anytime soon hehehe)
I automatically felt inadequate when I first heard about the check mark, and then became anxious about how to go about getting one as quickly I could. But why? Thanks for planting my feet back on the ground for me.
Aw Page, a totally relatable feeling. They don't mean anything, really, and I think many of the folks who have check marks are also aware of that. Don't let it make you feel bad!!! It is a made up symbol built by capitalism.
Truth! I’m used to social media trying to manipulate my feelings of inadequacy at this point, and use it as an opportunity to remind myself that THAT SHIT DON’T MATTER!
Yea Anastasia, Notes is certainly a turn in the social media direction for Substack. As social media goes, Notes is pretty darn good.
But, imho, writers don't belong on short form social media at all, but in long form environments like forums. But, having said that now about 100 times, I've have to acknowledge that the people have spoken, and short form is what they want. Many of the younger members here in particular may have never experienced anything other than short form social media, so to them THIS is the Internet.
Substack increasingly has that bad writer conference vibe, where there's all the lame people who want to have agents and editors and there's all the cool kids who do have agents and editors. Or the "successful" writers and the "aspiring" writers. Whatever the groups are, it quickly gets very junior high cafeteria-like, which was exactly the dynamic I hated on Twitter. Maybe if you're in the cool kid group, it does feel different and it's all so much fun all the time.
But in this case, all the cool kids act as if they're cool because they're so much smarter and work so much harder than you. At least in junior high, we all understood the unfairness of who got to be the cool kids and that it had nothing to do with how hard they worked or how smart they were. We understood that the poor kid who couldn't buy the right shoes was never going to be cool. Or the kid with bad acne. Or the girl who was diabetic and had to check her insulin all the time. Or the boy with the "weird" last name and the accent. At least we understood that there was nothing particularly fair about who got to be cool and who didn't.
Wait, am I saying junior high was better? That's really sad.
That is SO sad!!! Like i said in another comment, I'm going to brainstorm possibly creating a sub-newsletter where smaller pubs can get together and tall openly about anxieties but also think of things in more creative terms not involving subscriber counts or metrics. I think reframing really, really helps! And finding joy in the craft of writing and newslettering.