This is a question I’ve been asking of myself a lot lately. What is the spiritual, physical, or emotional barrier between me and truly sitting down to write every day. Whether it’s a cluttered desk, kids to care for, burnout, fear— I want to hear about what’s blocking you, or what you struggle with the most. Sharing our struggles with each other can disperse shame and help us get closer to our writing.
When I am avoiding my writing, I know it's because I'm struggling in some capacity. There's something I don't want to look at. Something I don't want to see. Right now my barriers feel very physical— I hate my apartment, I hate my neighborhood; my desk is cluttered and I am in the midst of a move to a new place. I thrive when I can take walks in the morning, but I can't do that safely right now. So, yesterday I cleared off my little dining table so I can have more work space, and packed some more of my things into boxes to give myself some space for writing, and it helped a little bit. But I'm also just being gentle with myself as I move through this transition, because we are not machines and we can't simply produce all the time. I'll admit, I'm overwhelmed by all the work I have to do, and that makes me not want to do any work, but something as simple as clearing off a table top has really helped.
When I *have* to write, when I make that demand on myself, rather than when I want to write, that's what does it to me. The guilt that comes when I don't write when I *have* to adds unneeded pressure. Especially when there's a deadline. There's a resentment that comes with not being able to have the time I need to do all the things I *have* to do (and then I don't have time to write when I want to). I know that's just life; this isn't a prob unique to me. But that guilt/resentment of *have to* is a creativity killer. Changing it to "I get to write today," as if it's solely a pleasure and not a burden helps me. At least when I do sit down to write, I try to enjoy it and ignore all the other *have* to's. xo
In classic ADHD fashion, I am an expert at creating barriers to writing. Once I do settle down to write, I can focus with great intensity. My latest is to let my home get messy. Then my excuse is that I have to clean before I can write, but I delay cleaning. Sigh. Eventually, as yesterday, I crack the whip on myself and clean up. Then I write for a few days. It’s a very bad habit, one that I need to break before I am working on the next book full time.
I hit a wall at a very specific moment in a draft (I write unpublishable novels). If I haven’t gotten external feedback by about 1/3 of the way through, I get a sticky feeling--I doubt my plot choices and wonder if the whole setup was a waste. I freeze in analysis paralysis and the words I’ve put down feel like a weight instead of an accomplishment. I’ve learned that I need to give my drafts air and share them early with a couple of trustworthy readers so I don’t feel burdened by lonesomeness. Back and forth dialogue keeps the work energetic and alive.
What gets in the way of my writing is the idea that I’m nobody so who cares about what I have to say about anything? Also, I often can’t remember what I wanted to say in the first place.
I love this question, what a wonderful thing to really consider. I think the thing that gets most in the way of my writing lately is a strained relationship with the craft of writing. The feeling is that I should just be brilliant at it, wake up and write prolifically and beautifully every single day. That I should always enjoy the process. I’m not sure where this came from, I know that writing is a trade that requires work. And yet here I am, with this contempt for the craft, the trying and the failing of it all.
And then there are comparison and guilt and that voice that says “who cares what you have to say?”
When I am avoiding my writing, I know it's because I'm struggling in some capacity. There's something I don't want to look at. Something I don't want to see. Right now my barriers feel very physical— I hate my apartment, I hate my neighborhood; my desk is cluttered and I am in the midst of a move to a new place. I thrive when I can take walks in the morning, but I can't do that safely right now. So, yesterday I cleared off my little dining table so I can have more work space, and packed some more of my things into boxes to give myself some space for writing, and it helped a little bit. But I'm also just being gentle with myself as I move through this transition, because we are not machines and we can't simply produce all the time. I'll admit, I'm overwhelmed by all the work I have to do, and that makes me not want to do any work, but something as simple as clearing off a table top has really helped.
When I *have* to write, when I make that demand on myself, rather than when I want to write, that's what does it to me. The guilt that comes when I don't write when I *have* to adds unneeded pressure. Especially when there's a deadline. There's a resentment that comes with not being able to have the time I need to do all the things I *have* to do (and then I don't have time to write when I want to). I know that's just life; this isn't a prob unique to me. But that guilt/resentment of *have to* is a creativity killer. Changing it to "I get to write today," as if it's solely a pleasure and not a burden helps me. At least when I do sit down to write, I try to enjoy it and ignore all the other *have* to's. xo
In classic ADHD fashion, I am an expert at creating barriers to writing. Once I do settle down to write, I can focus with great intensity. My latest is to let my home get messy. Then my excuse is that I have to clean before I can write, but I delay cleaning. Sigh. Eventually, as yesterday, I crack the whip on myself and clean up. Then I write for a few days. It’s a very bad habit, one that I need to break before I am working on the next book full time.
I hit a wall at a very specific moment in a draft (I write unpublishable novels). If I haven’t gotten external feedback by about 1/3 of the way through, I get a sticky feeling--I doubt my plot choices and wonder if the whole setup was a waste. I freeze in analysis paralysis and the words I’ve put down feel like a weight instead of an accomplishment. I’ve learned that I need to give my drafts air and share them early with a couple of trustworthy readers so I don’t feel burdened by lonesomeness. Back and forth dialogue keeps the work energetic and alive.
What gets in the way of my writing is the idea that I’m nobody so who cares about what I have to say about anything? Also, I often can’t remember what I wanted to say in the first place.
I love this question, what a wonderful thing to really consider. I think the thing that gets most in the way of my writing lately is a strained relationship with the craft of writing. The feeling is that I should just be brilliant at it, wake up and write prolifically and beautifully every single day. That I should always enjoy the process. I’m not sure where this came from, I know that writing is a trade that requires work. And yet here I am, with this contempt for the craft, the trying and the failing of it all.
And then there are comparison and guilt and that voice that says “who cares what you have to say?”
I just finished writing about how I write every day, and published it this morning. Very timely.
I wanted to offer folks ways to get this barrier out of the way as well.