The Infinite Well of Capitalistic Wanting and the False Promise of Manifestation

Trauma responses and Embracing Stability

I have now lived in my new apartment for almost two months. In early July my landlord illegally terminated my lease, and I had to scramble to find a new place. Everything aligned. I moved. Now I’m here. The rent is at the very top of my range, if not above it, but now I don’t have to spend money sealing cracks and doing pest control on my own (there are so many bugs in Florida). The apartment is almost a thousand square feet. I’ve never lived in a place where, if something needs fixing, I only have to file a maintenance request. They replaced my broken window two weeks ago and I still can’t believe it.

My bedroom still feels empty because I don’t have very many things. There’s a huge closet leading into the bathroom. And a bathroom closet, plus the closet in the hallway. From the small hallway I can walk into the living room (also huge) and see the dining room with my secondhand Ikea table and craft supplies, and the kitchen. Then there’s another closet near the front door. I don’t kn…