15 Comments
Jun 5Liked by River Selby (they/them)

This was beautiful to read, and hard, partly from sympathy and partly from knowing many of these movements in my own experiences, from the struggle over writing instincts with a good editor to giving up alcohol. I'm glad you're pushing to include more of what you feel should be in the book. Several of my closer writer friends have published books in the past year or so, and their experiences are all over the map in that respect. The more writers who show that their instincts are solid and publishers should listen to them, the easier I think it makes for the next books coming out to stay true to their voice and purpose. And in the meantime, it's hard for many of us to find a way to rest when we're used to working hard; any gifts you can give yourself of that also gift a restoration of strength on many unseen levels. 🧡

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author

Thank you Antonia. Is it weird for me to say I know you understand? I feel like we know each other only from Substack, but that is a kind of knowing. There are some things I am leaving out, about my editorial process, that I'll surely write about once this book is in the world. There's so much I wish I'd known about the editorial process and selling on proposal. But all I can do is hope for the best and be grateful that my voice is not only preserved but made stronger. Part of me still can't believe I have a book coming out, and won't until it is announced. I am also grateful I'll be sober for that.

I'm glad to be back in this space and looking forward to catching up on your newsletter. ❤️

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Jun 5Liked by River Selby (they/them)

I like being sober for all of this, too, and that's not something I thought I'd hear myself say until my body stopped letting me sleep a couple years ago! Giving up alcohol fixed that but I won't pretend I don't miss it sometimes.

Once you've had time to restore yourself some, if you ever want to vent/decompress about the process, you have a willing ear over here. 😉 There's a lot I wish I'd known, too, and one small thing I'm grateful for having gone through it before most of my friends is that I can at least share what I've learned, for better or worse.

Hope you have time to enjoy some clear Seattle days!

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I would LOVE that, Antonia.

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Jun 5Liked by River Selby (they/them)

👀 Hi. I’m just here to say I like both of you very much and wish we could all go away to adult summer camp together. 🤗

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author

ME TOO!!!!

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Jun 5Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Wishing you much rest and care, River. Huge recognition and celebration of your sobriety and courage, and sending heart-sourced blessings for serenity. ❤️

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thank you so much, Dana ❤️

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Jun 6Liked by River Selby (they/them)

I misspoke: Most every act of self care, internal navigations re external navigations -- past or upcoming, assessments, loose planning, etc., etc., etc., gets a gold star! Gold stars aren't only about behaving neatly for others. My foot might be in my mouth again but I hope you know what I'm trying to say.

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I definitely do, Diana, and that's a lovely idea. ❤️

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Jun 6Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Congratulations on all of it! As you start to gear up again, the little kid in you might have fun watching you plaster your calendar with shiny gold stars, like teachers (used to?) use as visible praise, day by day by day. Mine does . . . .

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Jun 6Liked by River Selby (they/them)

I understand your dilemma and feelings here. I recently took out a chapter from my memoir in progress because of the word count. But the chapter, although not essential to the narrative, was such an intense example of all that was going on simultaneously for me at the time: grief, anxiety, insomnia, and the immersion in awe-inspiring beauty. Wishing you lots of sleep and rest.

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Thank you Claire. Same to you, and whether that chapter ends up back in your book, I do hope it ends up published somewhere.

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Thank you as always for your words, River. I’m coming up against my edge right now as i feel myself being ready to go back to work after 5 years of burnout and lots of life disruptions/trauma. For me, this means building a new career from scratch and becoming self-employed. I’m terribly overwhelmed and experiencing dread/trauma responses at the prospects of both moving forward AND staying where i am. So that’s fun. But i know I’ll get through this somehow, because I’ve gotten through so much more already in my life and learned & healed so much.

Also -- Aphex Twin!!! Love encountering other fans. I’ve been listening for over 20 years and never listened to that full album. Will do today. :)

💜💜

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Follow up: this album was PERFECT for fueling/protecting me via earbuds during a very crowded grocery shopping experience today. Many thanks to you (and RDJ)!

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