Thanks for sharing this Anastasia. I seem to have almost no ability to create any sort of routine (or order) in my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD this year, and this has helped to explain a LOT about why I’ve always struggled to stick at things (and why I generally suck at all things Admin-related). My partner and I also have 3 kids under 8yo. Needless to say, I live in a state of significant cognitive overload/overwhelm most of the time. Oh, and I’m also a full-time Teacher who works with 14-15yo’s in a wellbeing-focussed residential program.
Anyway, I’ve accepted the fact that I have many more years ahead of me where I essentially have no choice but to keep working like crazy to keep all the plates spinning. Having children renders you relatively choice-less when it comes to deciding how you’d like to structure your day etc. I certainly don’t get to sleep-in anymore, as much as I’d love to!
I also feel like I’ve had to put my creative life on hold for (quite) a while. I dabble here and there (e.g. painting, drumming, writing), but essentially know I have chosen the parenting path as my prime focus in life for now.
Sometimes I find the lack of freedom and autonomy challenging. But mostly, I just lean into it. And mostly, the good stuff outweighs the hard stuff.
There’s a place for all of us in our respective worlds/societies. I value the contributions of “creatives” even more because I don’t have time to join them...but I can find small snippets in my day to ‘receive’ and appreciate their offerings (words, music, art etc).
Thanks for sharing your routine! It sounds great and very well thought out.
I think I work best in the morning (but not a super early morning).
My mini routine is I move and stretch my arms, neck, and hips gently for about 5 minutes before getting out of bed (still lying down). It seems to reduce the number of times I wake up and have a bad neck pain.
I love this routine and this idea to remove phones. I stopped at an MA in Victorian Lit/English and I don't think I could have the discipline or drive to do a PhD (but it was once a dream). I also realised that more academia would no longer add to my life (maybe intellectually but not financially). I also don't have children and I balance a ful-time editorial job at a publishing/news/data analytics company with freelance clients and creative writing and I'd also consider myself highly productive. Although I imagine your schedule is more gruelling. I don't have the freedom of your afternoons but I work from home full time 35 hours per week (the UK has better work laws and rights than the US) and have 1.5 hour lunch breaks. I wake early to get 1-2 hours of creative writing time before work each day (as it is my best thinking time) and that has worked for me and I give myself evenings off for the most part to relax with my husband.
I’m just so impressed by your ability (I wanted to say discipline but that word triggers me) to stay away from your phone for both the morning and evening. Definitely something to admire and work towards for me.
In neurodiversity and chronic illness, your letter was very relatable. That is, I think, why hearing about your routine made me so excited about life! Next fall I’ll finally have a space more my own. And while I can, of course, make changes in my life at any stage, I’m overjoyed to think that I’ll have that experience; I’ll have a room, and I’ll decide everything that enters it. I’ll have meals made by myself to my own tastes. Life is beautiful, and shaping your own is a gift.
Thanks for sharing this Anastasia. I seem to have almost no ability to create any sort of routine (or order) in my life. I was diagnosed with ADHD this year, and this has helped to explain a LOT about why I’ve always struggled to stick at things (and why I generally suck at all things Admin-related). My partner and I also have 3 kids under 8yo. Needless to say, I live in a state of significant cognitive overload/overwhelm most of the time. Oh, and I’m also a full-time Teacher who works with 14-15yo’s in a wellbeing-focussed residential program.
Anyway, I’ve accepted the fact that I have many more years ahead of me where I essentially have no choice but to keep working like crazy to keep all the plates spinning. Having children renders you relatively choice-less when it comes to deciding how you’d like to structure your day etc. I certainly don’t get to sleep-in anymore, as much as I’d love to!
I also feel like I’ve had to put my creative life on hold for (quite) a while. I dabble here and there (e.g. painting, drumming, writing), but essentially know I have chosen the parenting path as my prime focus in life for now.
Sometimes I find the lack of freedom and autonomy challenging. But mostly, I just lean into it. And mostly, the good stuff outweighs the hard stuff.
There’s a place for all of us in our respective worlds/societies. I value the contributions of “creatives” even more because I don’t have time to join them...but I can find small snippets in my day to ‘receive’ and appreciate their offerings (words, music, art etc).
yes to not going out at night if i want to write the next day! i have limited energy. though i think my problem is more that I don't go out enough...
Thanks for sharing your routine! It sounds great and very well thought out.
I think I work best in the morning (but not a super early morning).
My mini routine is I move and stretch my arms, neck, and hips gently for about 5 minutes before getting out of bed (still lying down). It seems to reduce the number of times I wake up and have a bad neck pain.
I love this routine and this idea to remove phones. I stopped at an MA in Victorian Lit/English and I don't think I could have the discipline or drive to do a PhD (but it was once a dream). I also realised that more academia would no longer add to my life (maybe intellectually but not financially). I also don't have children and I balance a ful-time editorial job at a publishing/news/data analytics company with freelance clients and creative writing and I'd also consider myself highly productive. Although I imagine your schedule is more gruelling. I don't have the freedom of your afternoons but I work from home full time 35 hours per week (the UK has better work laws and rights than the US) and have 1.5 hour lunch breaks. I wake early to get 1-2 hours of creative writing time before work each day (as it is my best thinking time) and that has worked for me and I give myself evenings off for the most part to relax with my husband.
I’m just so impressed by your ability (I wanted to say discipline but that word triggers me) to stay away from your phone for both the morning and evening. Definitely something to admire and work towards for me.
In neurodiversity and chronic illness, your letter was very relatable. That is, I think, why hearing about your routine made me so excited about life! Next fall I’ll finally have a space more my own. And while I can, of course, make changes in my life at any stage, I’m overjoyed to think that I’ll have that experience; I’ll have a room, and I’ll decide everything that enters it. I’ll have meals made by myself to my own tastes. Life is beautiful, and shaping your own is a gift.