Anastasia, this is so moving and real and I'm so grateful to have read it and to know I have your writing to continue to look forward to reading. You are a light, and you are right--it's when we become rigid that we don't realize we can't melt into the sense of what is universal, that we are in community with one another, with the earth. Wishing you love and light as the year turns once more. 💜
You’ve struck a cord with me on so many levels with this beautiful, packed post. I’m a little speechless frankly. You’ve given me the gift of seeing that beauty and hope and life can emerge at any time on so many different levels if you just choose to be open to it and look for it. I’m at a turning point in my life too. I think your words may help bring me into the present as I face what lay ahead. You’ve reminded how brave I am through your resiliency and courage. Many thanks for this!
“I never believed people would pay me for my writing.” I thought this too. I have always been a writer, I have always journaled and blogged, but I never thought anyone would ever pay me to write and it kept me from pursuing this as a career for so long. It still surprises me sometimes that people think my words are worth money. I love this newsletter and I love the lens through which you view the world. There’s so much generosity there, and we could all use more of that.
This was a beautiful piece of writing. I’m so often moved by what you share, and you offer it so generously. Also: Edna! What a sweetie. I love the ways you mirror each other in fear and tenderness.
Ana I am deeply invested in your story. I will be waiting for your book too! And I align with your narrative here, substack is seen as marketing tool but I find so much more meaning and deeper connections within this community than I imagined. These are not at all mere or transactional connections. I am so glad I have found you and stayed here to know you better.
And also, I love your precious Edna. I too have an easy-to-startle feline named Maya and she is a warm and purring sweetheart when she decides to trust and share her love. Maybe we should all learn the lesson of vulnerability and trust more from these little furry zen masters 🐈⬛ 💜
Thanks Anastasia. I loved reading this beautifully written and honest post. Your writing does give me hope. Or strength. But also a feeling being fragile and human. Which is a good feeling I think. I hope it doesn't seem sneaky or me trying to use your writing to showcase mine (it's hard to share here without seeming like a marketing ploy), but maybe you'd enjoy this thing I wrote a while back. Maybe not. Here it is anyway. I'm glad I found your writing though. Thanks.
Thank you so much, Jonathan. I think that it is a good thing to feel fragile and human. Fragile, but here. And thanks for sharing your writing, I'm looking forward to reading it.
happy new year, Anastasia <3 My book's coming out this year, my first ever book, and I'm excited and terrified. In any case, this should be a year like no other.
Thanks as always Anastasia. I’ve been feeling pretty numb lately, so nobody’s words can really penetrate. But I can still sense your good intent, and want to wish you lots of what you want and need for the year ahead ❤️.
I like the part about the slinky. And past and potential selves. It's an apt time for reflections. And decade after decade grant(s) us beauty in our retrospective(s), introspective(s), and prospective(s). I also like writing that is about writing: processing, publishing, creating audience. Because it can serve as writing springboard. I need that. I've wanted to write about the hawk I saw yesterday with prey in its talons. Was not close enough to know with certainty type of hawk or prey. I even had the thought that it was not an authentic encounter because I was not close enough to it. And today I know that does not matter. It was as true an encounter as the male cardinal I saw up close in the shrub I walked past but could not snap picture of because it was on to me and flew. And I suppose a question I have concerns how you felt about the doctoral program you were in? And how you think about doctoral programs in English/Creative Writing/other humanities?
Well, I am in my PhD program right now, and I have a lot of feelings- both good and bad. Hoping to write about it soon. All I can really say at the moment is that it's really, really hard.
What stage of PhD? I still have mostly good feelings about the climb. And stories yet to tell. Some already told and in print. And of course it’s hard. It’s the challenge that gave me the juice.
I'm in the middle of my second year. My issue is that I've been revising my book this whole time- and that along with everything else is an almost impossible to sustain workload. But I am almost done with revisions!
I loved reading this. I'm mostly a lurker but I so appreciate your writing. I passed through Tallahassee last week and thought fondly of you. What you share here makes me feel more possible, and I am grateful.
Anastasia, this is so moving and real and I'm so grateful to have read it and to know I have your writing to continue to look forward to reading. You are a light, and you are right--it's when we become rigid that we don't realize we can't melt into the sense of what is universal, that we are in community with one another, with the earth. Wishing you love and light as the year turns once more. 💜
Thank you so much, Freya 🩵
You’ve struck a cord with me on so many levels with this beautiful, packed post. I’m a little speechless frankly. You’ve given me the gift of seeing that beauty and hope and life can emerge at any time on so many different levels if you just choose to be open to it and look for it. I’m at a turning point in my life too. I think your words may help bring me into the present as I face what lay ahead. You’ve reminded how brave I am through your resiliency and courage. Many thanks for this!
Thank you Leanne. Here's to staying open. 🩵
You are felt, heard, absorbed and supported. ❤️
Thank you, Robin <3
“I never believed people would pay me for my writing.” I thought this too. I have always been a writer, I have always journaled and blogged, but I never thought anyone would ever pay me to write and it kept me from pursuing this as a career for so long. It still surprises me sometimes that people think my words are worth money. I love this newsletter and I love the lens through which you view the world. There’s so much generosity there, and we could all use more of that.
Thank you, Frankie. <3
This was a beautiful piece of writing. I’m so often moved by what you share, and you offer it so generously. Also: Edna! What a sweetie. I love the ways you mirror each other in fear and tenderness.
Thank you Christianne. Edna and I are so much alike! It feels like we share a soul. I'm lucky to have her.
Ana I am deeply invested in your story. I will be waiting for your book too! And I align with your narrative here, substack is seen as marketing tool but I find so much more meaning and deeper connections within this community than I imagined. These are not at all mere or transactional connections. I am so glad I have found you and stayed here to know you better.
And also, I love your precious Edna. I too have an easy-to-startle feline named Maya and she is a warm and purring sweetheart when she decides to trust and share her love. Maybe we should all learn the lesson of vulnerability and trust more from these little furry zen masters 🐈⬛ 💜
Thank you Swarnali 💕. Edna is the sweetest thing and I feel privileged that she purrs and relaxes just for me..:
Thanks Anastasia. I loved reading this beautifully written and honest post. Your writing does give me hope. Or strength. But also a feeling being fragile and human. Which is a good feeling I think. I hope it doesn't seem sneaky or me trying to use your writing to showcase mine (it's hard to share here without seeming like a marketing ploy), but maybe you'd enjoy this thing I wrote a while back. Maybe not. Here it is anyway. I'm glad I found your writing though. Thanks.
https://jonathanfostersthecrow.substack.com/p/a-murmuration-of-memories
Thank you so much, Jonathan. I think that it is a good thing to feel fragile and human. Fragile, but here. And thanks for sharing your writing, I'm looking forward to reading it.
happy new year, Anastasia <3 My book's coming out this year, my first ever book, and I'm excited and terrified. In any case, this should be a year like no other.
I am so so thrilled for you!! Cannot wait. Terror and excitement often go hand in hand for me as well 🙃
Thanks as always Anastasia. I’ve been feeling pretty numb lately, so nobody’s words can really penetrate. But I can still sense your good intent, and want to wish you lots of what you want and need for the year ahead ❤️.
Sending you lots of love, Claire. 🩵
I like the part about the slinky. And past and potential selves. It's an apt time for reflections. And decade after decade grant(s) us beauty in our retrospective(s), introspective(s), and prospective(s). I also like writing that is about writing: processing, publishing, creating audience. Because it can serve as writing springboard. I need that. I've wanted to write about the hawk I saw yesterday with prey in its talons. Was not close enough to know with certainty type of hawk or prey. I even had the thought that it was not an authentic encounter because I was not close enough to it. And today I know that does not matter. It was as true an encounter as the male cardinal I saw up close in the shrub I walked past but could not snap picture of because it was on to me and flew. And I suppose a question I have concerns how you felt about the doctoral program you were in? And how you think about doctoral programs in English/Creative Writing/other humanities?
Well, I am in my PhD program right now, and I have a lot of feelings- both good and bad. Hoping to write about it soon. All I can really say at the moment is that it's really, really hard.
What stage of PhD? I still have mostly good feelings about the climb. And stories yet to tell. Some already told and in print. And of course it’s hard. It’s the challenge that gave me the juice.
I'm in the middle of my second year. My issue is that I've been revising my book this whole time- and that along with everything else is an almost impossible to sustain workload. But I am almost done with revisions!
I loved reading this. I'm mostly a lurker but I so appreciate your writing. I passed through Tallahassee last week and thought fondly of you. What you share here makes me feel more possible, and I am grateful.
Thank you so much, Sabina, and thank you for commenting. Grateful to have you here.
In the darkness, light shines through. This post is one streak of light in an otherwise painful time. Thank you.
Thank you so much 🩵