I dabbled in journaling as a teenager, but when my alcoholic dad found and read from it before he beat me, that was the end of that project! Fast-forward to prison - I was 44 years old and spent 240 days locked up. With nothing more than a pencil, I started journaling as soon as I hustled some paper. I created a calendar, wrote a 15K-word book outline, corresponded with loved ones, and wrote down all the shit that happened to me. Upon release, I promptly stuck it under the bed. 3 beds in 3 different houses over 12 years. I was emotionally overwhelmed when I finally pulled it out and read the contents. Reading words that sound as if written by an entirely different human being. I love your vulnerability and had no inkling when I woke up today that I would find comfort in some formerly painful memories.
My mom used to go through my journals. It's such an invasion of privacy- especially when you're punished for what they find. I can so relate to the feeling of reading something written by someone else; it's so jarring, and I've really been trying to develop compassion for my past self, which isn't always easy.
So many studies on journaling for pain reprocessing and rewiring the mind. Psychologically speaking...Expressive writing is an exercise that creates this needed space. It creates an awareness of your thoughts, positive or negative, and separates you from them. Its effectiveness has been demonstrated in many research studies.
Associating thoughts with physical sensations forms new neurological connections.
Writing down thoughts creates a space between you and your thoughts on the paper
Your brain associates that space with vision and feel.
i used to journal as often as possible, but these days it’s more as needed. i was in a toxic living situation a few months back. journaling helped me survive through it, and reading my journals back make me so so proud of myself for moving out, even though it seemed infeasible at the time. now calm mornings and peaceful safety of home have become nonnegotiables for my mental health. sending love your way!! you got this 💗
I love this!! I, too, have experienced major cringe/shock factors when looking back over my old journals. I've kept one since I was 7 years old, so they span many versions of myself growing up. Lots of unfiltered thoughts, and then also filtered ones--I can always sniff out when I'm not being true to my experience or trying to write a better reality. Through it all, putting my thoughts to pen and paper has been the most valuable way for me to work through issues, or daydream, or just get the endless task lists out of my head and onto paper where they seem more surmountable.
I hope your move goes smoothly, and good on you for removing yourself from the situation.
I dabbled in journaling as a teenager, but when my alcoholic dad found and read from it before he beat me, that was the end of that project! Fast-forward to prison - I was 44 years old and spent 240 days locked up. With nothing more than a pencil, I started journaling as soon as I hustled some paper. I created a calendar, wrote a 15K-word book outline, corresponded with loved ones, and wrote down all the shit that happened to me. Upon release, I promptly stuck it under the bed. 3 beds in 3 different houses over 12 years. I was emotionally overwhelmed when I finally pulled it out and read the contents. Reading words that sound as if written by an entirely different human being. I love your vulnerability and had no inkling when I woke up today that I would find comfort in some formerly painful memories.
Thank you for sharing,
Ric
My mom used to go through my journals. It's such an invasion of privacy- especially when you're punished for what they find. I can so relate to the feeling of reading something written by someone else; it's so jarring, and I've really been trying to develop compassion for my past self, which isn't always easy.
So many studies on journaling for pain reprocessing and rewiring the mind. Psychologically speaking...Expressive writing is an exercise that creates this needed space. It creates an awareness of your thoughts, positive or negative, and separates you from them. Its effectiveness has been demonstrated in many research studies.
Associating thoughts with physical sensations forms new neurological connections.
Writing down thoughts creates a space between you and your thoughts on the paper
Your brain associates that space with vision and feel.
You have physically separated from your thoughts.
I love this, Rebecca! Good to know that my feelings are supported by evidence. <3
i used to journal as often as possible, but these days it’s more as needed. i was in a toxic living situation a few months back. journaling helped me survive through it, and reading my journals back make me so so proud of myself for moving out, even though it seemed infeasible at the time. now calm mornings and peaceful safety of home have become nonnegotiables for my mental health. sending love your way!! you got this 💗
Have you read Joan didion essay on notebook? So freakin good
I love this!! I, too, have experienced major cringe/shock factors when looking back over my old journals. I've kept one since I was 7 years old, so they span many versions of myself growing up. Lots of unfiltered thoughts, and then also filtered ones--I can always sniff out when I'm not being true to my experience or trying to write a better reality. Through it all, putting my thoughts to pen and paper has been the most valuable way for me to work through issues, or daydream, or just get the endless task lists out of my head and onto paper where they seem more surmountable.
I hope your move goes smoothly, and good on you for removing yourself from the situation.
Thank you for sharing this. Here's to having your own safe journaling space once again!
I hope the move works out great, and you have a lovely, peaceful place to yourself.