Thank you for sharing!! I can’t tell you how much I relate - I also moved almost every year, and I’m only now realizing autism went under the radar. Your work makes me feel seen. Wishing you comfort in your own skin and all the validation as you make sense of things.
Thank you so much Sarah <3. Moving so often has such a negative impact, and many people just don't understand how much it fractures the self and decreases access to support and consistency. I really appreciate you reading and understanding. It makes ME feel seen.
"I had a high reading proficiency and was hyper verbal. I was runner-up in my spelling bee one year."
Relatable!
From childhood, I placed much emphasis on reading, spelling, and maths times tables. I would only raise my hand for these things in class. According to the percentile tests, I had high verbal reasoning because I could spell many words and read far beyond my years. But, I needed assistance with grammar, and I still do, namely with apostrophes and punctuation. I hate how they visibly obstruct me and impede my flow.
I took a peek at the Glennon Doyle podcast segment. I had a gut feeling about so much neurodivergent vibes after reading Glennon's book Untamed, interesting to see if they confirm them for me in time. I must listen to this shortly. I also adore Katherine Mays' substack.
Congratulations on getting to know yourself even better now and honouring all of that strength.
Thanks for sharing. Having lived many similar experiences, I've been asking the same question: is it autism? For me, the answer is still no, not autism. Severe generalized anxiety, severe major depression, adverse childhood experiences ACEs 10/10, my first suicidal depression episode at 3 years-old and all the other trauma. I'm leaning more towards complex Post-traumatic disorder.
CPTSD and autism share so many traits. I was diagnosed with CPTSD years ago, and I realize that the diagnosis, in a way, masked my autism, which I can recognize only because some of my autistic traits were present before major reoccurring traumas. I am so sorry that you have such a high ACE score- I am very similar. It's isolating to have experienced so much trauma, which can exacerbate the trauma! Thanks for being on this journey with me, and I hope you're getting the support you deserve.
I don't have any other writing on high ACES, but that's a good thing for me to consider doing. Something I've done in the past is to seek out a good therapist who is willing to work on a sliding scale. That has truly saved my life sometimes. You're not alone. <3
There is a book that changed my life that rarely makes it to the Autism Resources lists. It's called What to Say Next by Sarah and Larry Nannery. Sarah is autistic and her husband is not. He weighs in at the end of each chapter about his NT perspective. It's really so helpful to get both sides and to understand how NTs experience some of what seems so obvious to me
You gotta check out Dr. Devon Price—he writes on medium and has a book “unmasking autism” that I bet you’ll get a ton out of— I know I did!
I will absolutely check this out! Thank you so much <3. And thank you for reading!
Thank you for sharing!! I can’t tell you how much I relate - I also moved almost every year, and I’m only now realizing autism went under the radar. Your work makes me feel seen. Wishing you comfort in your own skin and all the validation as you make sense of things.
Thank you so much Sarah <3. Moving so often has such a negative impact, and many people just don't understand how much it fractures the self and decreases access to support and consistency. I really appreciate you reading and understanding. It makes ME feel seen.
"I had a high reading proficiency and was hyper verbal. I was runner-up in my spelling bee one year."
Relatable!
From childhood, I placed much emphasis on reading, spelling, and maths times tables. I would only raise my hand for these things in class. According to the percentile tests, I had high verbal reasoning because I could spell many words and read far beyond my years. But, I needed assistance with grammar, and I still do, namely with apostrophes and punctuation. I hate how they visibly obstruct me and impede my flow.
I took a peek at the Glennon Doyle podcast segment. I had a gut feeling about so much neurodivergent vibes after reading Glennon's book Untamed, interesting to see if they confirm them for me in time. I must listen to this shortly. I also adore Katherine Mays' substack.
Congratulations on getting to know yourself even better now and honouring all of that strength.
Thank you so much, Pauline! And thank you for sharing. I also had issues with punctuation for a long time.
Thanks for sharing. Having lived many similar experiences, I've been asking the same question: is it autism? For me, the answer is still no, not autism. Severe generalized anxiety, severe major depression, adverse childhood experiences ACEs 10/10, my first suicidal depression episode at 3 years-old and all the other trauma. I'm leaning more towards complex Post-traumatic disorder.
CPTSD and autism share so many traits. I was diagnosed with CPTSD years ago, and I realize that the diagnosis, in a way, masked my autism, which I can recognize only because some of my autistic traits were present before major reoccurring traumas. I am so sorry that you have such a high ACE score- I am very similar. It's isolating to have experienced so much trauma, which can exacerbate the trauma! Thanks for being on this journey with me, and I hope you're getting the support you deserve.
Xoxo for the reply <3
Do you have more writing on high ACES? Or good resources?
I'm not getting the help I need, I can't afford it, thus I have constant s u1c 1 d41 ideation. I'm Exausted. Thanks!
I don't have any other writing on high ACES, but that's a good thing for me to consider doing. Something I've done in the past is to seek out a good therapist who is willing to work on a sliding scale. That has truly saved my life sometimes. You're not alone. <3
There is a book that changed my life that rarely makes it to the Autism Resources lists. It's called What to Say Next by Sarah and Larry Nannery. Sarah is autistic and her husband is not. He weighs in at the end of each chapter about his NT perspective. It's really so helpful to get both sides and to understand how NTs experience some of what seems so obvious to me
I just checked it out from the library and am excited to read it. Thanks so much for the recommendation!
Thank you Emily!! So grateful I am not alone.