22 Comments
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Happy Birthday Ana, you are one of the bravest humans I have ever known and I’m grateful to be cohabiting this planet alongside you. Thank you for being here in this time and space continuum, sharing your story in this community that you created. Much love, prayers, and light!

Expand full comment

Happy birthday <3

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

The quote about living for others sank in for me, too -- just broke up with a partner and feeling regrets. Happy birthday! 🎈

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Oh! And celebrating your beautiful bedroom. That looks like cozy, lush rest heaven!

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Happy birthday to you! Celebrating this exercise in deep présence, radical honesty, acceptance, authenticity and imperfection. I feel you on the paradox of being seen versus seeing others. Thank you for allowing me to sit with that myself... In my case, I sense it is about feeling what is wanting to be hidden somehow... Relating to that shadow.

I also appreciate this part: "but I’ve known for a long time that living for others is not really living, but surviving; clinging to each person like a raft that will keep me afloat. Looking to others for self-definition and approval."

👌🌻

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Really loved this--it was such a comforting read <3

Expand full comment

Happy birthday, Anastasia. Embrace each moment of this year. So glad you're here. xo

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023·edited Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Happy +6 days-birthday to every part of you!

I turned 43 last year, I promise you the best is yet to come. I truly rejoice with you for your gift of radical self-love and presence.

As you asked, your post is what brings joy and hope to me today, as I'm just finishing some poetry work about that inner work of getting to love oneself and allowing oneself to love, be loved - to be seen without the fear of being hurt again (those who know know).

The weird happy child that survived in me greets yours. The adult in me that overcame survival (people pleasing, masking and so on) and eventually found a way to live a soulful life greets yours. IFS is quite powerful and reiki too but the healer is the "walker". I don't know how you found the courage to follow your resilience path, and that's none of my business but I receive your testimony as a gift too, as I wish it could happen to some more and more people (underline : and someone close to my heart). More to give, more to receive. Enjoy your new year! :)

PS: your letter reminded me of the poem "The journey" by Mary Oliver which you might be familiar with.

"(...) and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world, determined to do

the only thing you could do -- determined to save the only life that you could save."

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

One great thing about getting older is that you can sort of start to view time horizons in decades instead of years. To paraphrase an old quote, "you can do way more in 10 years than you think you can, and way less in one year."

Expand full comment

Wish you Happy belated birthday 🎂 👏. Thanks for sharing your story, it reflects the journey which is going through ups and downs but always tech us something extraordinary. I am really sad for everything you lost, but yes you showed us the courage to stand again even the all hope in life dead. Thanks again:))

Expand full comment
Aug 24, 2023Liked by River Selby (they/them)

Happy birthday! Love you and proud to be in your extended community.

Expand full comment