I just logged off Instagram forever. I'm 24, so social media feels hardwired into the way my brain functions.. But thats not true, brains are inherently plastic. What is hardwired is a system of exploitation, which puts the value of profit over the value of life, into the attention algorithms. It's really sickening to see how me and and my friends let each other become junkies.
I'm an artist and a writer and it's extremely difficult for me to imagine what an art career that's not inextricably tied to a large social media following looks like. But I'm excited to find out.
I quit social media in 2021 after being diagnosed with autism. At the time I lived in a remote part of the mountains where folks lived pretty far apart and weren’t interested in being friends like I’d hoped. But when my doctor talked through the results of my analysis, she kept talking about registration and how mine is “low.” She said that means I don’t know I’m overwhelmed until it’s too late and I’m pushed to burnout or a meltdown.
And I just couldn’t shake this image in my mind: every scroll on Instagram was the same as a punch to me. I wasn’t casually scrolling. I was mega, autistic-examining every single post I saw. I was re-learning every post’s life story, in one way or another with very little in return. Of course the little twinge of belonging at the end is kind of what I was already used to in personal social settings, right? So I think that’s part of why I stayed attached to social media for so long even when it felt like yelling at a brick wall. Until I could really add up and see the harm it was just business as usual.
Your piece looks at the quitting social media side of things from a pretty fascinating lens! With joining substack I never intended to turn into a social media sort of gateway drug. (Though I am now considering a “billboard instagram” account where I just share art and writing tips. 🙈)I do think the longform writing and intentionality can help safeguard some things that make substack special. But who knows ...
Also I loved your phrasing around who you could be if you didn’t watch TV. I asked myself this about dieting ten years ago. It seems to be some good seed-planting pondering. 🧡
Anatasia!! so much in this article. Firstly how did i have no idea about the environment effects of social media, this is literally the first time i’ve ever heard about this and that kind of thing is my JOB! Second, I really feel you on the loneliness and connection you find on social media, I wrote about it recently because I grew up a very lonely, home schooled child without any local real life friends, going online at 8, 10, 12, 14, and even 16 was often the only way I got to speak to others my age. Thirdly, I’ve not heard people discussing breaking off streaming services but after a weekend of heavy PMS and spending hours on netflix to relax and make myself feel better i often felt worse afterwards, whereas i know there are so many other activities that would make me feel so much better. Sorry for the word vomit i’m on the move but this article hit so much!!
I grew up long before social media or the internet existed. We didn’t have a tv until I was 9. Social media has only existed during my adult life. I use social media sparingly, mostly for professional, rather than social, enrichment. I quit Facebook long ago as the level of discourse declined. I’m about to do the same with Twitter, but am finding Bluesky quite useful.
I watch some TV. I really like the growing Michael Connelly empire - Bosch and the Lincoln Lawyer series. And I watch many Berlin Philharmonic concerts live.
The books I am working on are all consuming. If I’m not writing, I am following the literature, which in my field has exploded in recent years. I have set aside Fridays for a full day of in-person social interactions, including my Friday Salon of writers and artists, which is in its 10th year. I probably should interact with people more than I do (it’s part of the reason I enjoy Inspiration Station so much), but for now, I just want to write.
I’ll leave it to social scientists to decide whether social media does more harm than good. But I think if one has a strong mission in life, as you do, the fewer distractions the better.
I’ve been witnessing a rise in conversation about quitting social media. You’re not the first, third, or fifth person I’ve seen post about having a desire to ditch it all together, which makes me believe theres something in the water--or we are all just unanimously fed up.
I also agree social media is evil and recently took a two months hiatus. It has felt good. Really good. I felt more at peace. But, eventually, I started to wonder what my friends were doing--especially when my partner would show me the cute posts I’m missing--which made me believe, just maybe, I can manage social media and real life with balance. If you’re wondering how I’m managing, I’m not. I spent this morning scrolling in bed instead of committing to my morning routine.
This false idea of “connection” that you described is so deeply engrained in my brain yet I know social media is transactional now. Every view, like, comment, share, and follow is now a type of currency. Ffs, my attention now holds monetary value (I guess no different than when television was created and advertising became a whole new beast). I’m so aware that every time I look at a post, I am falling into a funnel of someone’s marketing strategy.
Social media just isn’t what it used to be. As someone who got started on social media with tumblr and Myspace--and the good ol’ days of Facebook when we all just wanted to know if you were single or taken, what we have no just doesn’t compare. But, I often think about the younger generations. I am very curious about their commitment to social media and what that will look like in the future. I am just grateful to have had a childhood before iPhones were invented.
If you don’t mind Pinterest as a form of social media, then that is a great resource for recipes!!! TikTok’s are uploaded onto Pinterest so you get all the positives without the negatives of having to actually be on TikTok. Highly recommend.
Okay - this. All of it. I’m 44yo and have (consciously and deliberately) never been on any form of “social media” until joining Substack earlier this year. I only joined as I followed Sarah Wilson here...because I enjoy her “Wild” podcast and love her book - “This one wild and precious life” (I promise I receive no commission for ‘plugging’ her here!).
I only have “real life” friends. I still write letters that get sent in the mail. My phone operates as a way to get me out of trouble if I I break down on a deserted highway at midnight. I even have the “internet” (Safari etc) ‘disabled’ most of the time. Reading “Stolen Focus” by journalist Johann Hari was so validating for me...he confirmed all the reasons my intuition has always led me to steer clear of most things cyberspace and - until Substack - all things social media.
And so, I’ve realised I’m going to have to navigate this site very mindfully, or otherwise, it’ll also have to go. This IS social media...and the introduction of “notes” really confirmed this for me.
I recently ‘unsubscribed’ to several of the writers/sites I was following here. Because it started with Sarah, and all of a sudden I was following about 10 (really interesting but time-sucking) newsletters. Diving down the rabbit warren had begun. Looking at a “screen” can never replace a good ol’ fashioned tactile book. It just can’t.
But for some reason, I didn’t (haven’t yet) ‘unsubscribed’ to you Anastasia! I found you via Rae’s infamous re-stack of your beautiful article. And since then, the way you write has really resonated for me.
And so, I think my path forward might be this....Stay as a “paid” subscriber to Sarah Wilson as she is really trying to change the world in important ways (she’s an amazing climate-justice activist for example). Her brain is like mine. She covers ALL the topics...we need more thinkers (and shakers) like her at this point in human history.
And my next move...I will also join here as a “paid” subscriber to you Anastasia. And this is it. I can’t manage to follow more than 2 newsletters/sites. My brain simply can’t handle any more than this. I also have almost no free time raising 3 kids under aged 7, while also working as a teacher in a residential wellbeing-focused program for teenagers!
So - thank you for initiating (continuing) this important conversation here Anastasia. We need to challenge the status quo. I honestly believe social media is responsible for so much of the social unravelling that the western world is currently experiencing.
And thank you for all the work you share here on Substack. Your life reads as an inspiring example of “post-traumatic growth”. We need more authentic and courageous truth tellers like you in our world.
I'm a bit down on social media. I made the mistake (?) of posting a controversial video where I say I'm a nonbinary person, not a woman, a couple days ago, and I got so many insulting comments. So many that I wondered how many of the comments were written by AI, if that's even a thing. That is not human engagement. That is so far from friendship or community. I turned off comments and felt an immediate sense of relief. On substack, on the other hand, I feel like I'm having a conversation with people I respect. A lot to think about!
Ugh I felt this. I actually did a whole ep on this coincidentally out today (not a plug just relevant).
Found that my life was a lot more... calm off social. But I also felt so guilty over not participating in my friends ‘lives’ on there, as well as being as informed on the news.
Maybe the answer is to manage it like alcohol. A sometimes thing but not every day... I don’t know.
Over the past few years, I’ve thought off and on about leaving social media. Then in August, a post I wrote on Facebook about freelancers charging what they’re worth caused a huge backlash and I lost control of my Facebook account. The powers that be at Meta were less than helpful in my getting it back and I realized it’s because they don’t have to be helpful. I am nothing to them, other than a way for them to make money. So I’m much more strongly considering leaving now. I love the idea of Internet-free days and making space for other things.
Completely agree that social media is an absolute evil in the world. And it’s also allowed me to make a career doing something pretty niche that (most of) the people in my local area have no interest in. It’s such a trap!
I'm very much with you. I'm only on Instagram very very slightly (via desktop computer - a great deterrent for me) for a couple social groups, and I check it maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I *have* a Facebook, which I only use when I'm trying to find something used on Facebook Marketplace. Otherwise, I'm offline.
In a way, I'm fortunate to be old enough to remember the pre-internet days growing up. I was addicted to TV though and found my own process devolving from time mostly spent drawing and reading as a kid to just mindlessly watching TV. Then home internet hit the scene in the 1990s and less TV and then mindless internet surfing.
Further devolution when I moved overseas to South Korea and EVERYTHING was about the online hyper-connected busy city life. I basically felt like a connected zombie for most of my waking hours. After moving back to Canada, those habits were hard to break: social media updates and notifications, Instagram, Ingress geolocation gaming, FB, etc, etc.
Funny enough, birding and hiking is what helped me break the habits. I had been an active birder on the ebird app trying to almost gamify counting birds. I clearly remember seeing a small Black-capped Chickadee on a branch near me. The Chickadees in this area are used to people. I remember looking at this Chickadee for a minute or two and watching this little bird watch me. This bird blinked a few times, looked around then flew off. I continued on my walk and put me phone away and stopped counting birds.
A few days later I uninstalled that ebird app thinking this is stupid. I now tell myself to just walk outside and witness Nature for the experience instead trying to quantify and gamify everything.
I'm so happy I read this today! Social media has been making me feel so drained. I am also noticing that it's been incredibly difficult for me to focus lately. Like, I'll grab my phone to do something with it, then get sidetracked and I'll tap the instagram button and scroll for a minute and then completely lose sight of what I needed to use my phone for to begin with. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes! I put screen time limits on some apps but I may need to take it a step further...
Yes, this so beautifully sums up so much of my experience with tv and phone addiction behavior. Specifically tv has been a way for me to escape scary, hard times since childhood. It feels terrifying to let go of, but there’s this same constant nudge inside of me that helped me let go of alcohol five or so years ago. I know life without mindless tv watching is where I’m headed. How to get there? I’m not sure yet. I live with my family who don’t want to get rid of streaming services, and when I just tell myself I’ll stop solo tv, I cave and binge when life gets stressful. I’ve changed my relationship with it and myself to be more accepting and compassionate, but still long for the time when I no longer feel compelled by the longing and urges to escape this world and dive into another.
I just logged off Instagram forever. I'm 24, so social media feels hardwired into the way my brain functions.. But thats not true, brains are inherently plastic. What is hardwired is a system of exploitation, which puts the value of profit over the value of life, into the attention algorithms. It's really sickening to see how me and and my friends let each other become junkies.
I'm an artist and a writer and it's extremely difficult for me to imagine what an art career that's not inextricably tied to a large social media following looks like. But I'm excited to find out.
I quit social media in 2021 after being diagnosed with autism. At the time I lived in a remote part of the mountains where folks lived pretty far apart and weren’t interested in being friends like I’d hoped. But when my doctor talked through the results of my analysis, she kept talking about registration and how mine is “low.” She said that means I don’t know I’m overwhelmed until it’s too late and I’m pushed to burnout or a meltdown.
And I just couldn’t shake this image in my mind: every scroll on Instagram was the same as a punch to me. I wasn’t casually scrolling. I was mega, autistic-examining every single post I saw. I was re-learning every post’s life story, in one way or another with very little in return. Of course the little twinge of belonging at the end is kind of what I was already used to in personal social settings, right? So I think that’s part of why I stayed attached to social media for so long even when it felt like yelling at a brick wall. Until I could really add up and see the harm it was just business as usual.
Your piece looks at the quitting social media side of things from a pretty fascinating lens! With joining substack I never intended to turn into a social media sort of gateway drug. (Though I am now considering a “billboard instagram” account where I just share art and writing tips. 🙈)I do think the longform writing and intentionality can help safeguard some things that make substack special. But who knows ...
Also I loved your phrasing around who you could be if you didn’t watch TV. I asked myself this about dieting ten years ago. It seems to be some good seed-planting pondering. 🧡
Anatasia!! so much in this article. Firstly how did i have no idea about the environment effects of social media, this is literally the first time i’ve ever heard about this and that kind of thing is my JOB! Second, I really feel you on the loneliness and connection you find on social media, I wrote about it recently because I grew up a very lonely, home schooled child without any local real life friends, going online at 8, 10, 12, 14, and even 16 was often the only way I got to speak to others my age. Thirdly, I’ve not heard people discussing breaking off streaming services but after a weekend of heavy PMS and spending hours on netflix to relax and make myself feel better i often felt worse afterwards, whereas i know there are so many other activities that would make me feel so much better. Sorry for the word vomit i’m on the move but this article hit so much!!
I grew up long before social media or the internet existed. We didn’t have a tv until I was 9. Social media has only existed during my adult life. I use social media sparingly, mostly for professional, rather than social, enrichment. I quit Facebook long ago as the level of discourse declined. I’m about to do the same with Twitter, but am finding Bluesky quite useful.
I watch some TV. I really like the growing Michael Connelly empire - Bosch and the Lincoln Lawyer series. And I watch many Berlin Philharmonic concerts live.
The books I am working on are all consuming. If I’m not writing, I am following the literature, which in my field has exploded in recent years. I have set aside Fridays for a full day of in-person social interactions, including my Friday Salon of writers and artists, which is in its 10th year. I probably should interact with people more than I do (it’s part of the reason I enjoy Inspiration Station so much), but for now, I just want to write.
I’ll leave it to social scientists to decide whether social media does more harm than good. But I think if one has a strong mission in life, as you do, the fewer distractions the better.
I’ve been witnessing a rise in conversation about quitting social media. You’re not the first, third, or fifth person I’ve seen post about having a desire to ditch it all together, which makes me believe theres something in the water--or we are all just unanimously fed up.
I also agree social media is evil and recently took a two months hiatus. It has felt good. Really good. I felt more at peace. But, eventually, I started to wonder what my friends were doing--especially when my partner would show me the cute posts I’m missing--which made me believe, just maybe, I can manage social media and real life with balance. If you’re wondering how I’m managing, I’m not. I spent this morning scrolling in bed instead of committing to my morning routine.
This false idea of “connection” that you described is so deeply engrained in my brain yet I know social media is transactional now. Every view, like, comment, share, and follow is now a type of currency. Ffs, my attention now holds monetary value (I guess no different than when television was created and advertising became a whole new beast). I’m so aware that every time I look at a post, I am falling into a funnel of someone’s marketing strategy.
Social media just isn’t what it used to be. As someone who got started on social media with tumblr and Myspace--and the good ol’ days of Facebook when we all just wanted to know if you were single or taken, what we have no just doesn’t compare. But, I often think about the younger generations. I am very curious about their commitment to social media and what that will look like in the future. I am just grateful to have had a childhood before iPhones were invented.
If you don’t mind Pinterest as a form of social media, then that is a great resource for recipes!!! TikTok’s are uploaded onto Pinterest so you get all the positives without the negatives of having to actually be on TikTok. Highly recommend.
Okay - this. All of it. I’m 44yo and have (consciously and deliberately) never been on any form of “social media” until joining Substack earlier this year. I only joined as I followed Sarah Wilson here...because I enjoy her “Wild” podcast and love her book - “This one wild and precious life” (I promise I receive no commission for ‘plugging’ her here!).
I only have “real life” friends. I still write letters that get sent in the mail. My phone operates as a way to get me out of trouble if I I break down on a deserted highway at midnight. I even have the “internet” (Safari etc) ‘disabled’ most of the time. Reading “Stolen Focus” by journalist Johann Hari was so validating for me...he confirmed all the reasons my intuition has always led me to steer clear of most things cyberspace and - until Substack - all things social media.
And so, I’ve realised I’m going to have to navigate this site very mindfully, or otherwise, it’ll also have to go. This IS social media...and the introduction of “notes” really confirmed this for me.
I recently ‘unsubscribed’ to several of the writers/sites I was following here. Because it started with Sarah, and all of a sudden I was following about 10 (really interesting but time-sucking) newsletters. Diving down the rabbit warren had begun. Looking at a “screen” can never replace a good ol’ fashioned tactile book. It just can’t.
But for some reason, I didn’t (haven’t yet) ‘unsubscribed’ to you Anastasia! I found you via Rae’s infamous re-stack of your beautiful article. And since then, the way you write has really resonated for me.
And so, I think my path forward might be this....Stay as a “paid” subscriber to Sarah Wilson as she is really trying to change the world in important ways (she’s an amazing climate-justice activist for example). Her brain is like mine. She covers ALL the topics...we need more thinkers (and shakers) like her at this point in human history.
And my next move...I will also join here as a “paid” subscriber to you Anastasia. And this is it. I can’t manage to follow more than 2 newsletters/sites. My brain simply can’t handle any more than this. I also have almost no free time raising 3 kids under aged 7, while also working as a teacher in a residential wellbeing-focused program for teenagers!
So - thank you for initiating (continuing) this important conversation here Anastasia. We need to challenge the status quo. I honestly believe social media is responsible for so much of the social unravelling that the western world is currently experiencing.
And thank you for all the work you share here on Substack. Your life reads as an inspiring example of “post-traumatic growth”. We need more authentic and courageous truth tellers like you in our world.
Much kindness, Claire ❤️
I'm a bit down on social media. I made the mistake (?) of posting a controversial video where I say I'm a nonbinary person, not a woman, a couple days ago, and I got so many insulting comments. So many that I wondered how many of the comments were written by AI, if that's even a thing. That is not human engagement. That is so far from friendship or community. I turned off comments and felt an immediate sense of relief. On substack, on the other hand, I feel like I'm having a conversation with people I respect. A lot to think about!
Ugh I felt this. I actually did a whole ep on this coincidentally out today (not a plug just relevant).
Found that my life was a lot more... calm off social. But I also felt so guilty over not participating in my friends ‘lives’ on there, as well as being as informed on the news.
Maybe the answer is to manage it like alcohol. A sometimes thing but not every day... I don’t know.
But thank you so much for this reminder.
Over the past few years, I’ve thought off and on about leaving social media. Then in August, a post I wrote on Facebook about freelancers charging what they’re worth caused a huge backlash and I lost control of my Facebook account. The powers that be at Meta were less than helpful in my getting it back and I realized it’s because they don’t have to be helpful. I am nothing to them, other than a way for them to make money. So I’m much more strongly considering leaving now. I love the idea of Internet-free days and making space for other things.
Completely agree that social media is an absolute evil in the world. And it’s also allowed me to make a career doing something pretty niche that (most of) the people in my local area have no interest in. It’s such a trap!
Honest question: isn’t Substack also a form of social media? Are you quitting it as well?
I'm very much with you. I'm only on Instagram very very slightly (via desktop computer - a great deterrent for me) for a couple social groups, and I check it maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I *have* a Facebook, which I only use when I'm trying to find something used on Facebook Marketplace. Otherwise, I'm offline.
In a way, I'm fortunate to be old enough to remember the pre-internet days growing up. I was addicted to TV though and found my own process devolving from time mostly spent drawing and reading as a kid to just mindlessly watching TV. Then home internet hit the scene in the 1990s and less TV and then mindless internet surfing.
Further devolution when I moved overseas to South Korea and EVERYTHING was about the online hyper-connected busy city life. I basically felt like a connected zombie for most of my waking hours. After moving back to Canada, those habits were hard to break: social media updates and notifications, Instagram, Ingress geolocation gaming, FB, etc, etc.
Funny enough, birding and hiking is what helped me break the habits. I had been an active birder on the ebird app trying to almost gamify counting birds. I clearly remember seeing a small Black-capped Chickadee on a branch near me. The Chickadees in this area are used to people. I remember looking at this Chickadee for a minute or two and watching this little bird watch me. This bird blinked a few times, looked around then flew off. I continued on my walk and put me phone away and stopped counting birds.
A few days later I uninstalled that ebird app thinking this is stupid. I now tell myself to just walk outside and witness Nature for the experience instead trying to quantify and gamify everything.
I'm so happy I read this today! Social media has been making me feel so drained. I am also noticing that it's been incredibly difficult for me to focus lately. Like, I'll grab my phone to do something with it, then get sidetracked and I'll tap the instagram button and scroll for a minute and then completely lose sight of what I needed to use my phone for to begin with. I get so frustrated with myself sometimes! I put screen time limits on some apps but I may need to take it a step further...
Yes, this so beautifully sums up so much of my experience with tv and phone addiction behavior. Specifically tv has been a way for me to escape scary, hard times since childhood. It feels terrifying to let go of, but there’s this same constant nudge inside of me that helped me let go of alcohol five or so years ago. I know life without mindless tv watching is where I’m headed. How to get there? I’m not sure yet. I live with my family who don’t want to get rid of streaming services, and when I just tell myself I’ll stop solo tv, I cave and binge when life gets stressful. I’ve changed my relationship with it and myself to be more accepting and compassionate, but still long for the time when I no longer feel compelled by the longing and urges to escape this world and dive into another.