What do you Need Today?
This morning I did myself a disservice and hopped on Twitter. I wanted to see what everyone is doing. Turns out, I have a lot of feelings, and Twitter doesn’t help me parse through them in a healthy way. Good reminder.
Last night I listened to NPR on my way home and was disappointed to find that there wasn’t some sort of dramatic live coverage.
We can become addicted to the drama. As someone who grew up in an abusive home, and whose foundational relationships were built on the drama, the release of a future goal, the forgiveness and build up of tension and the big fight, I am well aware of my tendency to want things stirred up.
So today I’m reminding myself: I don’t need a clean slate. There’s no such thing. Or, there is, but there’s no erasing the past. I’m not a chalkboard. My scars are etched into my skin and psyche. These past four years have changed me. They’ve changed us. They’ve resulted in lost lives and separated families; but so has America, in general.
I’m losing my focus, though. What I mean to say is: we have a choice. We always do. To turn inward and tend to ourselves. To show love to each other. To let go of the external drama and feel our feelings.
I learned long ago that the calm after a storm is when things can get extra sticky. Some of us have been in survival mode. A feeling of safety isn’t always immediate. It may be hard to discern our feelings at all, hence the lovely feeling wheel I’ve included here. If you have a moment today, sit with it and think about what you’re feeling. Maybe take out your journal instead of scrolling the news. When I say “you” I also mean me. I need to do that. I’ve blocked the news on my phone for the rest of the day. It doesn’t help me. There’s nothing new there, in the news.
Repeat this as many times as you need:
May all beings be free from suffering.