Unwindings (Part II)

The Czech Republic

Each evening in Podborany I’d open my skylight and watch the sunset.

I insisted on going to the doctor myself, though I didn’t speak Czech. My mentor had shown me the communist-era building where the doctor’s office was located and asked again if she could come with me to translate. Again I said no. 

My mentor was a beautiful woman whose aura would have been dark and sultry if it hadn’t been for her husband’s preference for blondes. Because of this preference, she regularly dyed her hair the color of winter straw pummeled by snow, and it had a similar texture. I didn’t want her with me because I didn’t want her to know I was chasing valium, not for fun but because I couldn’t sleep without it. I spent most evenings sprawled in bed, listening to the heavy footfalls of my neighbors, who owned my apartment, and being suffocated by layers of panic attacks, each more intense than the one preceding it, until, if I was lucky, I’d fall asleep around 3am. My apartment was above a pharmacy, my ne…