The Writer: Morning Revisionings

Day Five

Dear Writers,

This week I’ve been trying out this new thing called, well, you know (Morning revisionings!). I love it. And it’s a lot of work. I am going to keep doing it, but keep it to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings.

I’ll keep writing my “regular” newsletters as well.

If there’s something else you’d like to see from The Writer, or if you’ve enjoyed the Morning Revisionings, let me know. And, of course, if you can, please do become a paying subscriber. It really helps, especially now that I’m living on a PhD stipend!

The is nothing in this newsletter behind a paywall (right now) and that’s because I believe in accessibility. But

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Inspiration

Many of my favorite writers had or have an early morning writing routine. Ursula K Le Guin, Toni Morrison, Dana Spiotta. And for much of my writing life, I’ve also relished waking early. But lately, I just haven’t been able to do it.

Lots of things are different here: I have a couple late classes, live with someone who adheres to a different schedule than me, and am adjusting to a totally new place. I still have yet to fully catch up on my sleep since arriving here from Seattle.

And I have an opportunity to be different, too.

See— I can be rigid. It took me a long time to see and understand this rigidity, and to trace its connection to my perfectionism; my all or nothing way of thinking. I used to think I wasn’t good enough to be a perfectionist, which is itself a symptom of my perfectionism.

When I was at Syracuse as an older, non-traditional undergraduate, I took sleeping pills at night in order to force myself asleep early. Then, I’d wake up at 530am, and be the first one at the coffee shop at 6am. There, I’d do my Hindi homework and write and work for several hours. This period of time is a blur to me. I remember sitting in my room eating popcorn and a grapefruit while watching Netflix and feeling the wooze of the OTC sleeping pills kick in, and the frigid walks from the house I shared with roommates to the nearby coffee shop, then from the coffee shop to the University. My feet slid on the icy sidewalks; my lungs stung with each inhale.

From the outside, I was a hard-working college student. I also worked 30 hours a week while taking full credit loads. I didn’t have much of a life.

See? Rigid perfectionist.

Here I am, in school again, and confronted with these ideas I have about what being a good writer and a good teacher and a good student looks like.

I’m glad it only took me this long to realize that I get to make the rules for my life.

And I don’t have to wake up at 5am.

Unless I want to.

But even if I want to, it doesn’t mean my body wants to. I have to honor that, too.

So, this week I made a promise to myself.

Instead of trying to wrangle myself into a way of being that wasn’t even working for me when I was doing it in the first place, I’ve promised myself to do something new.

Instead of forcing myself to wake early, or getting upset with myself when I don’t wake early, I’m getting curious.

I’m asking myself: what does productivity look like for me?

When do I feel most productive?

When do I need to rest?

How can I incorporate all the things I want to do (my personal creative writing, stretching, journaling, walking) and all the things I need to do (sleep, hygiene, self-care) and all the things I have to do (teaching my classes, reading and assignments, grocery shopping) into my days?

I have not only always been rigid, but I’ve also always been disorganized and I’ve always had trouble sticking to routines, likely because of my ADHD. I make myself rigid schedules, but the moment I fail to adhere I give into chaos.

So I’m writing everything I want and have and need to do into each day, in no particular order, and seeing how I want to do it.

Maybe, eventually, once my body and soul recalibrate to this new life, I’ll start waking early again.

We’ll see how it goes.

Tell me in the comments how you organize your life, especially your writing life.

quote

“My passions drive me to the typewriter every day of my life, and they have driven me there since I was twelve. So I never have to worry about schedules. Some new thing is always exploding in me, and it schedules me, I don’t schedule it. It says: Get to the typewriter right now and finish this.” -Ray Bradbury

Resource

The above quote is from Ray Bradbury, but I found it on The Marginalian, which is itself an absolutely wonderful resource for writers and humans. Maria Popova does admirable and beautiful work over there. You can read about lots of different writer’s routines by following this hyperlink.

Question

What is your writing routine? Do you aspire to a routine, or are you still figuring it out? Tell me in the comments.