Gathering

Gathering

Share this post

Gathering
Gathering
"The Nose" by Nikolai Gogol

"The Nose" by Nikolai Gogol

1.18.22

River Selby (they/them)'s avatar
River Selby (they/them)
Jan 20, 2022
∙ Paid

Share this post

Gathering
Gathering
"The Nose" by Nikolai Gogol
Share

The Absurdity of “The Nose”

You’re a barber. One morning, instead of coffee, you ask your wife for bread (because you know you’ll never have both at the same time). While slicing the bread, you find a nose. Someone’s nose. A nose in the bread!

As a barber you look at a lot of noses. For some reason you have a tendency to pinch your customer’s noses between your fingers, kind of like that game “got your nose” except that game doesn’t exist in your world because you are a Russian barber, and the Russia you live in is old enough to have serfs. Serfs is another word for slaves. You don’t have a serf. You don’t even have clean hands. One of your customers, Collegiate Assessor Kovalyov, who likes to call himself “Major,” has a nose exactly like the nose you’ve found.

It’s his fucking nose. You’ve found his nose in your bread.

What do you do? Well, you’re a barber, but you’re also, “like any self-respecting Russian Artisan…a drunkard.” You don your dirty piebald jacket with strings where the …

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Gathering to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 River Selby
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share