"The Half King" by Sejal Shah

1.6.22

Oooooh I can feel it! Time passing, deadlines insisting. I finished this story late and tomorrow I’ll send out the other two (Raymond Carver and Flannery O’Connor)— for Flannery O’Connor I chose to read “Everything That Rises Must Converge,” but I urge you to read any story of hers and tell me about your thoughts in the comments.

“The Half King”

I was on the fence almost the entire time with this story. This happens to me often with short stories. It’s kind of the magic of them? That one can be on the fence and continue to read, giving the whole thing an entire chance. I don’t even know why I was on the fence— maybe it had nothing to do with the story and more to do with me being very tired, in general.

The voice in this story is so intimate, casual, almost as if addressing a journal or diary. It felt like nonfiction. I loved the weaving through time, the narrator reflecting back as she conveyed a moment, knowing how things would turn out. The way there was always this reflective and also forward-looking voice, a sense of always being out of the present moment, analyzing everything, almost as if peering in as an outsider to one’s own life.

When I chose this story I (of course) had no idea that it took place in New York, not only the city but also in Rochester. Having lived in Syracuse and felt a closeness to the land there, I loved the descriptions on Central/Upstate New York, especially the idea that one must leave a place like that, the sensation of decay and what once was.

In everything throughout this story there is a sense of urgency and also one of stagnation, frustration. Envy. Longing.

“Carrie and her boyfriend have known each other since high school. I’m jealous of that. It’s what I always wanted. But I also can’t imagine it. What’s the point of paying the rent to live in New York if you’ve already met someone? New York is about looking around. New York for me was about looking around.”

This captures it well— the texture of needing something to have a purpose. Why live in such a chaotic place if not to look for a partner? And this looking for a partner, this always looking, is integral to the entire story. The narrator is incomplete. There’s a residue of sadness throughout everything, a knowing that things will remain incomplete even when a partner is found. She will make the wrong choice.

By the end of this story I was off the fence, for sure. I didn’t have time to read this one twice but I wish I did, because it’s the kind of story (like basically all stories) that gives the reader more with a second and third reading.

Let me know what you thought.