The Gloss, the Reflection

selves shaped from the outside in

I’ve done a lot this weekend, though our capitalist culture would like me to think I’ve been unproductive. As with most breaks, I had a goal of writing a complete novel in my five days off. Instead I watched films, read, journaled, started a puzzle, did yoga, and finally figured out which writing project I’m focusing on for December.

On Thanksgiving night I watched Judy, starring Renee Zellweger. My mom loved Judy Garland and, as she often did with famous people, would preface her love with Judy’s history: how she grew up trapped in the film industry, drugged with uppers and downers in order to stay thin, likely sexually exploited, and with no will of her own.

For some reason I tend to conflate Garland with Karen Carpenter, a singer who died of heart failure at the age of 32, likely because of complications with anorexia. When Carpenter was a teenager her doctor advised her to go on a diet. She did, and, like many women, began her lifelong disordered relationship with food. Carpenter …