The Final Draft

My Book is Going to Copy!

I sold my book on proposal in 2019. Back then, I was working as a full-time nanny in Seattle, working on the proposal for two hours before the 8am start of my workday and on weekends. I didn’t think it would sell, but an editor from Grove Press bought it, and off I went.

Except…the process took a really long time. Like, really long. It’s been almost six years since I sold it, and throughout the revision process I often thought the book wouldn’t make it to publication. There were many moments of mental and physical strife. I moved to Czechia for a Fulbright. Covid happened. I moved back to Seattle and began nannying again. I started freelancing. I had spinal surgery. I accepted a spot at a creative writing PhD program and moved to Florida. During my first two years of coursework I revised the book THREE times, usually waking at 5am and writing until I had to teach or go to class.

I didn’t give up. I didn’t quit.

And now the book is headed to copy (next week!). I am on the very last round of edits. Hopefully this will be my final sacrificed weekend for a while.

I Never Really Believed I Would Publish a Book

When you say you want to be a writer, people tell you to stop dreaming. I didn’t. I couldn’t.

Yesterday my therapist remembered me to myself. I first saw her over ten years ago, shortly after my mother died by suicide.

“You could barely make eye contact,” she said. “I could tell that it was really hard for you to be seen.”

And now my book is being published, which will make me totally visible to anyone who reads it.

The process of writing the book has been healing and harrowing. Now I find myself in unfamiliar territory: my life is good. Pretty good. I’ve never had that before. It’s what I’ve dreamed of for so long, yet there are parts of me who protest this; parts of me who are scared of letting myself relax into the good parts. I am tending to those parts. <3

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Me during my first year on the hotshots.

The book, HOTSHOT, is a memoir about my time working as a hotshot. It’s also a reported narrative on the history of fire suppression in the U.S., Indigenous fire, climate change, and colonization.

I did a ton of research. I learned how to write a book while writing a book. I have so much to share about the process, and I will be sharing it all with you!

For now, back to work. I’ve got to finish this!

Thank you all so much for being here with me on this wild ride. I am truly grateful for you.

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Join me on October 1st for THE INTERIOR GAZE.

The Interior Gaze is a community learning environment aimed at cultivating a grounded sense of self-understanding and determination as writers— whether you are a published writer or you scribble in secret, all levels are welcome.

As writers it's easy to feel as if we're being pulled in many conflicting directions. One moment we're told to follow our creative instincts; the next we're asked how many followers we have on social media. The whims of the public, the publishing industry, and the algorithm are fickle as the weather. Writers must be resilient— THE INTERIOR GAZE is designed to build confidence and resilience.

All paying subscribers automatically have access. Find out more here:

Membership pricing will change next Monday— see below:

• Monthly subscriptions are currently set at $5.95 a month. That price will be adjusted to $7.95 per month. If this prices you out, let me know, and we can work something out.

• Yearly subscriptions are set at $44 a year and will increase to $69 a year. Yearly subscriptions are still more economical than monthly subscriptions, averaging out to $5.75 a month. Scholarships are available— contact me if needed.

• Founding Subscribers currently pay $80 a year. This will increase to $98 a year in one week. This yearly cost averages out to $8.15 a month.