Socially Awkward // One

Living as an Artist, or Something

For (almost) the past year, I did what I had set out to do. I got a great nanny job that paid well, with benefits. I worked hard. And I burned myself out. I didn’t set out for that last part but it happened. Now, as I move towards transitioning out of my nanny job, I am a gooey mess of possibility.

I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, and in the United States. I’ve been asking myself— do I want to stay in Seattle, my hometown? And many answers rise to the surface, all contradictory. Yes, of course; it’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. No, of course not, there’s no way I can afford to live here without sacrificing parts of myself.

I came to Seattle wanting to settle down, but I didn’t ask myself what I wanted to settle into. What kind of life did I want? One where I could afford to buy things? One where I have my own space (which isn’t really my own, because I can only afford to rent)? Truthfully, I can’t settle down in Seattle and I may never be able…