Cooking as Love

Acknowledging what we do for ourselves.

Sunday and Monday I cooked.

That may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is.

You see, I used to have energy to cook. Energy and motivation. I loved cooking.

Then, August 2020 to August 2021, I cooked for the family I nannied for. I made them complex, delicious meals like chicken strudel and lasagne and whatever they chose from our shared recipe app. I made the meals while also caring for 3 year-old twins. I can recall the sensations I felt while cooking- a tightening in my throat. A sense of urgency out of proportion with the task, recognizable by all who have worked with young children and had to make complex meals while doing so.

I stopped cooking for myself. Instead, I bought freezer meals from Trader Joe’s or ordered takeout. Eventually I signed on for Daily Harvest, knowing it was too expensive for me but also knowing that I wanted to eat more nourishing food.

None of it tasted as good as my own cooking.

Over the past month I’ve started cooking more for myself. Saving my own reci…