A Jumble of Thoughts from the Abyss

On privilege, academia, and calling oneself a writer.

The end of spring break was two weeks ago, but I worry on most days how I will make it to the end of the school year. Once I am finished worrying about that, I worry about how I will make enough money to pay my rent during the two month gap between the end of this semester and when I will receive my first paycheck for teaching a summer writing composition class, which will be direct deposited into my account sometime during the second week of July.

How will I make it, I ask myself. I ask myself this because I don’t know how I will make it. Because one week off after working sixteen hours a day teaching, reading and writing for classes, and revising my book, was not nearly enough time to recover.

Because how can I think about finding freelance work or designing a course or two or doing anything when there is so much I have to do that I wake up each morning already overwhelmed by it all?

Sometimes I ask myself: how am I doing everything? I have asked myself this question a lot over the c…